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My eyes hurt. So, I'm wearing my glasses. Glasses that may look like regular vision assistance, but really, they have a secret. They weigh 18 metric tonnes thus carving baby craters on either side of my nose, and squeeze and clamp down on tender spots behind my ears that activate my cranky buttons. Every day I have whipped them off my face and flung them down to take a few deep breaths and not light them, and my eyes, on fire. And don't even worry about me as I continuously twitch and jump because I am constantly seeing imaginary things peripherally. BECAUSE I CAN ONLY SEE THROUGH TWO SMALL PORTALS OF MANIPULATED GLASS. 

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About exactly one week ago, I dropped my iPhone 3G S in the toilet. It would be an understatement to say I was completely devastated. Rather than taking this week to get back to simpler times and actually look up when I drive, speak to friends in person instead of abbreviated snippets of words, and not simultaneously pee and check Facebook updates, I lost my everloving COOL. (PS: The cocktease FB updates where it's like "You have 8 new Living Social Activities, come here right now!" can fuck the fuck right off)

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I feel a little all over the place right now, getting used to not having some assignment bumping up against the front of my brain stressing me out, working full time and fighting off a sore throat with stern glances and mouthfuls of chalky vitamins.

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imaginary itinerary

It's official. I'm at the tattoo shop getting 'SquareSpace 4 Lyfe' inked around my neck. I like how easy shit works here. I can write something, and it works and you can read it right away. [Flashback to me doing the HTML by myself on the old site, screaming, and dripping tears and blood on the keyboard.] For writers, this is a godsend. And that finishes the unabashed endorsement section of this post.

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she's not heavy, she's my MeeMaw

I have been watching some amazing cable televison the last few days and I thought I'd take a moment here to share some of my snark observations.

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