Entries in Victoria BC (4)
We saw a late night showing of Green Lantern last night. (Unfortunately it was not very good. Amongst a few nitpicky things, I thought the biggest problem was it looked low budget – that doesn't bode well for a $200 million dollar Super! Summer! Blockbuster!) But I’m not sitting down amongst 7 tonnes of unfolded laundry and eminent homelessness to review GL. No, I have something more important to tell you. The story of how I almost died in the theatre bathroom.
(From my phone’s notepad, and quoted in a previous post, but it makes me laugh, so here it is again):
I would pay $100 for diarrhea.
I can’t let that sentence go away, even though I know Nuv is super disgusted with me and by me, the more I loiter around it. Seriously, I’ll let you use your imaginations as to why I would make this revolting deal with the devil. You just have to wait and see how your bowels get so possessive about your shit. And I had no idea this would be the case. So, this is, what, Lesson 374? Eat as many prunes and blueberries and beans as you can handle, because even then, it won’t be enough. And take good reading material into the bathroom with you, and be prepared to be patient, because the alternative is hemmorhoids, the most terrifying 11 letter word on the planet. I would rather serve the rest of this pregnancy in a maximum security prison on Mars then have them.
When we were in Victoria just after Easter, we stopped at a new gluten free bakery, Origin. Aside from a depressingly 70s stripmall location, and a terrible sign outside, the experience was sublime. The space is big, airy, and has local art displayed on the walls. Like in every gluten-free establishment I have ever been in, I stood at the counter like a small African child that has never seen food displayed before. It was late Saturday afternoon, so the selection had dwindled, but I carefully picked the following with great anticipation: